Monday, December 1, 2008

Paranoia

My first OB/ultrasound appointment is tomorrow at 2 ..and I'm freaking out. I took the entire second half of the day off so I have time to chill out before embarrassing myself by crying or something the minute the OB walks in. She's notoriously late ...so I'm guessing I'll get out of there somewhere around 5.

A drug rep/infertile friend of mine called the office today crying ...and I've been upset ever since. She was 1 week ahead of me ..she finished her clomid pills when I started mine. She had her first ultrasound yesterday and the baby is tubal. She's devastated. I'm devastated for her. They had her dated at 11 weeks ..which seems insane to me. She had literally NO pain and a ton of pregancy symptoms and normal labs. Now I'm back on the tubal paranoia train because I HAVE had pain and goofy labs and not very many symptoms. Most of all ...I'm heartbroken for her. This is her 3rd loss in the last 2 years ...and she was so confident this time that she was out buying clothes and such. She's scheduled for surgery in the morning ...I'm praying that they can do something to save her tube.

What I wouldn't give to be able to skip this part and be sitting at home nursing a healthy newborn . . .

3 comments:

Mo and Will said...

Ugh! Of course you're freaked out! Am hoping that time will speed up so you can get to your OB appt quickly and get some peace of mind. It's not paranoia. Sounds like totally normal jitters to me!

Mo

www.lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com

April said...

you need to take some deep breaths. your friend's situation does totally suck...but you also have no idea that yours is anything other than "okay" at this point. in less than 24 hours you will know.

(then we can pick something else for you to obsess over :) --maybe my labs or my cycle)

xoxo

Searching for Serenity said...

I'm right there with you. Your friends news is a big fear of mine. How terrible for her. I'm very sorry to hear it. How could you not freak out about it? One thing to remember is that we are all different and every story will be different. Including yours.

Hang in there and let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking about you this afternoon.