Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Week 25 Appointment

Is it me ...or is time flying by? I think it's rather amusing that I'm 25 weeks. Because I feel like maybe I'm 7 or something. Umm...perhaps time to get cracking on all things baby preparation ...no?

More for my records than anything else ....Week 25 appointment stats:

Weight up 6 pounds total. Bleh. I'm thinking I'm not going to make my 10 pound maximum gain goal. In my defense ...I'm going to guess I have at least 4 pounds worth of fluid still hanging around judging by the 3+ pitting edema that I still have. It's sexy. Seriously. I don't know how Monk keeps his hands off of me....what with the ankle rolls and all. My blood pressure when I got there was 140/90. She had me lay on my left side for like ..90 seconds ..and re-checked it and it had dropped to 115/54. Hmmm. She threatened me with bed rest. I assured her that I had stopped call and will work zero overtime. I'm going to have to talk to my second boss about taking a leave of absence until after my maternity leave. I hate the very idea of it if you want to know the truth. Heartrate was 156. I either don't remember or she didn't measure me. Strange. The next Level II ultrasound is scheduled with the MFM to re-check the baby's renal pelvis. She ordered physical therapy for the out of control pelvic pain as well as a molded pelvic support brace thingie. I have to get another glucose tolerance test but had her order glucose strips so I can check my blood sugar on my own because I'm incredibly paranoid about stopping the metformin. So much so that umm..I haven't stopped but am instead weaning myself off. I don't like change much.

In extra good news, the IRS sent me a very pretty letter today telling me that I owe them over $14k for my 2007 taxes because I failed to report $30k in income that I received from an insurance company that 1099'd me. Umm...after I picked Monk up off the floor, I realized that one of the insurance companies that I bill for services reported the income under my personal social security number instead of the business tax id number. Which um...is going to be a massive clusterf*** to try and fix. And ..strangely enough ...no one in my office remembers ever seeing a 1099 in my name. Or so they say.

Any bets on what my blood pressure was after reading that letter???

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sometimes ...

Having a day off makes me think I should take them all off. :)

Friday, March 20, 2009

MFM Love

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I think I'm secretly in love with my MFM doc. Which is odd. Cause . You know. I graduated with one of his 16 children. Some physicians are extremely knowledgeable and have the bed side manner of a stone. Others have the bedside manner of a saint and little knowledge to back it up. He is the perfect combination of the two. Very personable and honest. Extremely well read. His essence oozes knowledge and comfort.

I ended up calling the office this morning and explaining my addiction to Dr. Google and wondered if he could possibly call me back at the end of the day. He called at lunch and I asked a lot of questions about the enlarged renal pelvis and what that does to the odds that baby has Downs. He said that there were 1 or 2 studies that reported that it increased the risk, but several more that found no association at all. It's too late to do an amnio either way. He feels confident that the baby is fine. The renal pelvis is very minimally enlarged and there are no other markers anywhere. The baby is growing perfectly without any other abnormalities. In the end, we won't know for sure until he or the OB pulls the baby out { he offered to do my c-section if I want }. And I need to relax. Because. You know. Hypertension isn't great for the little bean with or without Downs.

I took the day off today and Monday. I think I'll even skip a couple of classes at the conference I'm going to this weekend with my best friend and spend a lot of time shopping at Pottery Barn Kids and other overly priced baby boutiques and take care of myself a little bit better.

I do remember a time when my life wasn't ruled by anxiety. Wonder if I'll ever meet that person again?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


That about it sums it up. Totally overwhelmed.

Yesterday? Work totally sucked. My boss, who suffers from a fairly serious mental illness that is completely untreated, has been in a bad cycle for a while. A death in the family in February set her off and she really hasn't worked much since then. Which means that it's me managing everything in the practice and being overwhelmed in general. Yesterday, she had a particularly bad day that she described as a migraine, and insisted that I leave the office in the middle of the day, an hour before my scan, and come to her house to give her injections for the migraine. Fine. Whatever. Other side of town from where I'm going and a huge time crunch. Rushed there ...and instantly became overwhelmed at the state of disarray of her home. Seriously. Overwhelmed.

Left there and went to the MFM appointment. I started to feel really weird in the waiting room. A female OB resident that I'm extremely fond of/have lunch with often because she used to be a student in my room was rotating with the MFM and came in for the scan. Her presence is always so reassuring. Very calming. However, by the time I got back into the u/s room, my blood pressure was 170/94. That, combined with 3+ pitting edema to my thighs and a crazy 9 lb weight gain in 2 days made him not very happy with me. They re checked my blood pressure at the end of the visit and it was 157/86. Still way too high. He felt that I was okay ..asked me to check my blood pressure twice a day, dip my urine daily to check for protein, and call to let the OB know that he wanted me to be seen there this week. The scan went okay. Baby is 1 lb 9 ounces. The parts of the heart he couldn't see before were fine. Placenta insertion site was fine. He's still very stubbornly breech and I was shocked at how high his head is up under my rib cage. The only abnormality he found was a very mildly enlarged renal pelvis in one kidney and suggested a re-scan in 4 weeks. Assured me that it's very common and nothing to worry about. Interestingly, he asked me to stop the Metformin because 1 study demonstrated an increased risk of pregnancy induced hypertension and he would rather that I be on insulin if I should need it. Hmm. I feel weird about not taking it ..but will obviously stop.

Left that office ...called the OB to let her know about the blood pressure and swelling expecting an appointment in her office this week and a serious discussion about my work schedule. Instead? She admitted me to labor and delivery for a PIH screening. Hmmm. Wasn't expecting that. After several hours, my blood pressure came down on it's own to 115/70 and all of my labs/urine were fine ...so they sent me home. Surprisingly? That 5 hours in the hospital was the most relaxed I've felt in months. They've restricted my work schedule and gave me a prescription for seriously attractive compression socks. I came home and went to bed.

For some stupid reason I decided to google enlarged renal pelvis and read "is a soft marker for Downs Syndrome" in the first line. I couldn't click a single link and have spent the last 2 hours in a total panic attack not able to cope with anything. I feel stupid ...but reading that one little line was enough to push me over the precarious edge I was sitting on. I spent a stupid amount of money on super cute maternity clothes from gap and old navy and banana republic. It was delivered today and I can't even make myself open the package and look at them.

I want a bottle of wine, a dark room, and a 3 month long nap. Instead, I have to make dinner, pretend to be functional, and take my daughter to track try outs. This will be considerably more difficult because I was so upset after reading that search result at work that I left without my purse, wallet, or cell phone. Hmm.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Lost: Two Ankles

I'm a very bad blogger. My life is sort of crazy right now. I'm in the middle of a 19 day stretch of work without a day off ...and umm...I hate it. I guess I hate work in general. I need to go back to school. I'm a much better perpetual student.

Anyway. I had hospital call on Saturday and Sunday and it ended up being insanely busy. When I finally got home last night after 7:00 and sat down, I noticed that my feet were crazy swollen. This morning when I was getting ready for work, I couldn't put on any of my rings that fit fine yesterday. I jumped on the scale and my weight was up nine pounds since Saturday. Hmm. That can't be good, right? I got home tonight around 6 and discovered that I have pitting edema up to my knees.

Between that and the sort of self diagnosed symphysis pubis dysfunction that makes it impossible for me to walk after laying down ....pregnancy is a wonderful experience for me! In all seriousness ...I love the wiggles and kicks and what comes afterwards ...so I'll deal with the rest.

Of course, because my only coping mechanism is anxiety, I have myself convinced that I'm going to be diagnosed with pregnancy induced hypertension AND cardiomyopathy with a side order of HELLP and will be put on bedrest at 24 weeks and 1 day.

I guess I'll wait until the appointment with the MFM tomorrow and go from there. Right?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

It's All In A Name

Two or maybe three weeks ago, Monk and I were laying in bed, talking. He had his head laying on my stomach and the baby suddenly kicked him right in the ear. It was the first time that he was able to feel the baby - any of our babies - move. He jumped up, surprise apparent on his face and then immediately laid back down and waited. After the second kick, I watched the amazement cross his face. I wasn't entirely sure that I would be allowed to move without his head attached to my abdomen for the rest of my pregnancy. It was more heart-warming than I could ever describe or explain. For all of his "meh" type attitude about the previous pregnancies and losses, feeling the movement sold it for him. And for me, I think I realized that he was more hurt by the losses than he had let on, that he was feeling more nervous and reserved about this pregnancy than I could ever have guessed. It took two kicks and he was suddenly running around town buying baby clothes and paint for the nursery. Two. Kicks.

We've spent the better part of the last several weeks discussing names and we've gotten nowhere really fast. He's referred to the baby as "Emmet" since conception. He has wanted to name a baby Emmet for as long as I've known him. I have no affection for the name, and definitely dislike the idea of naming a baby after a football player. So ..umm...I conceded several years ago and let him name a fish Emmet. So anyway. He's suggested all sorts of names that I hate ..and I've suggested several more that he can't stand. We'll probably leave the hospital with a blank birth certificate - seriously. That's how far apart we are.

Tonight, we started discussing names again. Monk started talking to the baby who appeared to be in a deep sleep as far as I could tell. The conversation went something like this:

"Baby? We need to talk about your name. You can help us pick your name. I want you to kick mama when you hear a name that you like. Okay? Any name that you like ...you kick mama. Okay. Ready?? Gavin? Noah? Elijiah? Jonah? Kaeden? Liam?" And the baby? Said nothing. He went through another 15 or 20 names and eventually came to "Emmet?" And the baby? Said, "Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick."

Monk was incredibly elated. Even I thought it was hilarious. For like two minutes. Then I was forced to point out to Monk that babies want lots of things that aren't good for them and don't have the best judgement.