Friday, May 29, 2009

shadows and healing

I live fairly close to a huge outlet center. Monk has been desperately searching for this specific pottery barn canvas that he wants to stretch and hang in the living room. He called the outlet tonight and they happened to have one in. So ...off we went trying to rush there before they closed. As I walked...well...to be honest, probably waddled ...into the store, I immediately flashed back to a trip I made there last summer. I've been there a million times since ...but for some reason it struck me this time. I remember hiding in one of the aisles last summer, eyes brimming full of tears. I was coming off of loss number three ...and it seemed like everyone in the entire store and outlet center was 8 or 9 months pregnant. It was more than what I could stand at the time.

Less than a year later ...it was me 8 months pregnant and wandering the store looking for baby bedding and cute shelving and decorations. I took a couple of minutes and looked around ...searching the shadows between the aisles for the old me. Searching for the women still hurting and aching for someone to fill their bellies, hearts, and eventually arms.

3 comments:

Amanda said...

This was a lovely post. Sometimes it's surprising the things that bring back memories and how powerful they can be.

strongblonde said...

:) and here you are!!

did you see anything good that i should go and get??

SS said...

How nice that you are on the other side but still hurtuing for those who haven't made it there yet. Hope you found the canvas!