Moose. Pig. Dog.

This is how I'll summarize my last 24 hours:

1. Moose: The baby is ginormous. Like...5lbs 7oz at not quite 34 weeks. Hmm. Imagine if I hadn't kept checking my blood sugars and started insulin? This morning was insane. I started out with a nonstress test which was umm...non-reactive. I left sort of against medical advice with a promise to come back so I wouldn't miss the appointment with the MFM. Because umm...if something is wrong with the baby, he'd have to come look anyway. And his office is across the street from the hospital. So I went there ....and promptly passed out on the ultrasound table. Which is cool when the doc knows that you're a NP and should have probably have mentioned that you weren't feeling great before the syncopal event. Laying on my back for the scan with a moose compressing my aorta and inferior vena cava didn't feel very good. I started to get light headed and sweaty. Ohmygod the sweat. And nauseated. But kept my trap shut because I wanted him to finish the scan. It ended up taking over 2 hours because they kept having me lay on my left side for five minutes to recover. The baby's kidney is still dilated, but minimally so. He recommended to re check after birth and see a peds nephro if still needed. My cervix was F.I.N.E. I mentioned that I had some spotting a couple of weeks ago and again this morning (like ..honestly 10 drops of blood on 3 occasions) prior to these contraction episodes. He thinks that I probably had a marginal placental abruption and that's what was causing the problems. Lovely. More rest. Re-check on Tuesday. Back to L&D to check the NST again. Nothing good happened until I ate a half of a granola bar and then he went insane. Which prompted lots of early fat kid jokes from his ever present and loving father. I'm pretty sure they were supposed to call the MFM to see if he wanted me to stay overnight but didn't. So I just left when they said I could. Now I feel guilty...but there was a pig and a dog to tend to. Fears of Downs? Not so much better ....I don't know why I thought they would be.

2. Pig: I ended up taking the golden child in last night because even with high dose motrin AND tylenol her temp was still 104 ..and I'm paranoid. We're still waiting for the swine flu tests to come back ...but she's on treatment anyway with antibiotics and antivirals. She's mad because Monk (who is ..strangely enough ...a germophobe) is chasing her around the house with a can of Lysol. She does feel much better today and is afebrile. Still has a nasty cough.

3. Dog: My little baby cocker girl has super bad congenital hips and needs major surgery that we can't really afford right now. I guess she must have fell coming up the porch steps this morning (no one saw it ...we just heard the tumble) and is now barely walking. Breaks. My. Heart. I'm trying to decide if I should take her in to the vet and waste the $200 or what. Or just wait and hope it gets better with some extra pain meds.

I did take the advice to not watch any baby story/episodes of deliver me ...because ..my God. I'd probably end up in the nutter butter house. Which...probably wouldn't be good for the Moose because I'd try and eat my way out.

And I can't help myself. Jon and Kate. Are you freaking serious right now???