So ...I didn't make it to work today. Strangely enough ...the weird pain is gone. I'm not sure if it was some kind of weird muscle spasm ..because a heating pad did actually seem to help ...or something with my liver ...or my gall bladder ...or if my son is growing a bowling ball sized head and tried to ram it through my liver into my throat last night. I'm thinking not gall bladder ...only because I had an extremely thorough gall bladder testing thing done about 3 months before I got pregnant and it was pronounced crazy healthy. Who knows. Maybe making it all squishy changed it or something. Either way...the pain is gone ...and I'm a happier though less fully employed girl today. I officially stopped the 2nd job ...with no real notice ...which sucks. I'll miss it dearly. It was challenging ...and different ...and I was surrounded by completely sane co-workers. So ..other than the challenging part? The complete opposite of my current full time job. Ha!
This post may be a little crazy ...because Monk and the child and I went to get custard a bit ago and I accidentally discovered a chocolate custard with marshmallow cream mixer thing that is conceivably the best thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. Ever. Not only am I a hyper spaz from the huge carb load ...but so is the 1/2 way there child. I think he might be trying to scratch his way out of my uterus with his toe nails.
My cervix is essentially the same thickness/size/what not today as it was a few days ago ...which is good. But she still wants me mostly on bedrest for the weekend and to come in for a check on Monday. I'm definitely still having contractions. This baby needs to stay put for quite a few weeks still.
So. Marriage. That still makes me giggle. Because when the hell did I get to be old enough to not only be married but to be analyzing my marriage? I still hear "Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togetha today..." from the princess bride every time I say it. Anyway. Monk and I are NOT connecting. I don't know why. I assume it's mostly me. There's the mostly non-existent sex life which is 99.8% my fault. But more than that ...there's suddenly this absence of hello/good-bye/goodnight kiss sweetness tenderness thing ..which is at least 70% me. He's been following me around like a lost puppy and I keep pushing him away every single time. I go upstairs ...he follows me. I come down ...he comes down. He tries to hug me when I'm making breakfast and I get irritated and mean. I've been quite literal and actually said, "I seriously need 5 inches of space. Please. Be less available for like ...an hour. Let me pee upstairs ALL BY MYSELF. Give me a chance to miss you and come to find you." And umm...nothing changes except the hurt in his eyes. I don't like that it's changed and I don't know why ...but I can't make myself work through it either. I'd be happy for any suggestions you can give.