Trick or Treat

The last couple of days, my temp has been crazy high. Like 99.8 high. Basal. So I've been thinking that I either have a triphasic basal temp chart ....or lymphoma. I kind of feel equally convinced of either. I woke up this morning and temp'd. 99.9. Hmm. Woke up ...got in the shower and immediately started gagging. Which made me soooo incredibly happy. But then I thought ...well. I guess that could be a lymphoma thing too.

I went to work at the second job today ..and felt sooo blessed. Because I only had 8 patients scheduled instead of the normal 27 - and they had blocked my schedule to get me out early to get ready for Halloween. Very nice treat that I wasn't even close to expecting! All day at work I had sort of a low crampy/cervical pain type thing going on and what I was sure was going to be AF showing up. So. That sucked pretty much all day. Clearly lymphoma or something else to give me a long lasting low grade fever.

I came home to a very excited teenager that was dressing up like a gothic girl. Complete with spray painted black hair, black nails, black lipstick, and about 25 fake piercings in her nose, lips, ears, eyebrows, etc. I helped her get started and decided to POAS. Just as the test started running, she knocked on the door to ask for help. So ..I threw the test in a drawer and started helping her with her hair and make-up ..thinking how grateful I was that this is a costume for her and not her life. So not her life that she thinks it's an outrageous costume, even. I laughed to myself at how goofy it is to be getting a teenager ready for Halloween at the same time I'm eagerly testing for pregnancy. She ran out to get her skeleton tights ...and I opened the drawer.

Apparently? I only need to call a reproductive endocrinologist to get knocked up. Well ...theres the clomid and OPKs and the crazy amounts of sex that happened, but I'm still convinced it was the call that did it. I might call him (the RE) and pay him the $14,000 anyway.

Positive. 10 days post ovulation. Really, really positive. Don't have to squint to see it positive. I was so immediately shocked and giddy that I slammed the door back shut when she walked in and couldn't stop laughing. She, of course, thinks I'm crazy. And she's mostly right.

But today? Today I am happy. Really honest to God happy. I'm not going to think about the babies that we have lost. I'm not going to think about the ones that haven't made it. I'm going to feel hopeful and wonderful and excited about the life inside me right now. Tonight I'm going to hand out candy to incredibly cute monsters and let myself think about next Halloween.

We'll save crazy paranoia for next week.