Sticks and stones

To add to my list of issues? Peeing on sticks obsessively and being absolutely thrilled and crushed on a 2 or 3 times daily basis as I watch lines appear and then evaporate.

Why do we torture ourselves with this craziness?? Admittedly, I'm worst than most. Because umm...it's cheap for me. I purchased 100 pregnancy tests for like ...$15 through the office. I know that will make a lot of you hate me ...but it's truly an awful thing. I'm thinking that I'm not pregnant - although temperature, OPK, and timing wise it's probably still too early to test. My breasts hurt and ache and feel soooo incredibly painful like they haven't in years. I've been slightly nauseated here and there but nothing I'd write home about. I do have a fairly persistent ache in my right lower quadrant which I'm diagnosing as cyst or endo or something and not entertaining the idea of ectopic. But anyway.

I've literally tested for pregnancy 3 times a day for the last several days.

Because ..as stated earlier? I'm full on crazy people. But not if you're one of my patients. Then I'm totally sane. I swear. Totally. Sane.

I would laugh my ass off at a patient if they did this stuff because seriously ...how can I be that stupid and still have a fairly respectable job? I *know* how this crap works ..but I still test. And still feel soooooo incredibly amazing for the 30 seconds or so that the test looks like it might be positive. And then so incredibly sad and lost and hopeless when it's not. And then I repeat the process in 4 or 5 hours just for the fun of it.

I shouldn't officially test until Halloween. But obviously? I enjoy torture.